The Scariest Thing in Curling: Slippery Hacks and Missed Draws
Halloween may be full of ghosts, ghouls, and gremlins, but let’s be honest—no phantom in a sheet has ever struck terror in a curler’s heart quite like a hack that’s just a little too slick, or that draw to the button you should have made but didn’t. Curling has its own set of horrors, and they sneak up on you in the middle of a game when you least expect it. Forget haunted houses—the curling club is where the real scares live.
So let’s dim the lights, put down the candy corn, and talk about the spine-tingling, broom-clutching terrors every curler knows too well.
1. The Slippery Hack
It’s the curling equivalent of stepping on a banana peel. You crouch down, get set, breathe deep, and then—whoosh! Your slider decides to play a cruel joke, and suddenly you’re doing the splits like a gymnastics audition. Nothing strikes fear faster than realizing you’re about to deliver your stone and your hack is less secure than a door held shut with duct tape.
Some say there’s a ghost that greases the hacks late at night. Others say it’s just condensation. Either way, a slippery hack is scarier than anything you’ll find in a horror movie.
2. The Missed Draw
You’ve practiced this shot a hundred times. The broom is right there. The weight feels good out of your hand. And yet… it sails right past the house, mocking you as it slides into oblivion. Or worse, it comes up six feet short, leaving your teammates staring at you like you’ve just confessed you don’t know who Brad Gushue is.
The missed draw is a nightmare because it’s not just about you—it’s about your whole team watching the easy two turn into a steal of one. The psychological damage lasts way longer than any jump scare.
3. Falling on the Ice
Every curler has had the fall. Sometimes it’s a slow-motion tumble, arms flailing like one of those inflatable car lot tube men. Other times it’s a full-on pratfall that makes you wish you had brought an extra layer of dignity along with your broom.
The horror isn’t just the bruise you’ll wake up with tomorrow—it’s the sound of everyone gasping, followed by the inevitable chuckle when they know you’re okay. Nothing reminds you of your mortality like hitting the pebbled ice with your elbow.
4. Hogging a Stone
Picture this: you throw, it looks good, the sweepers are on it, and then… the stone slows down… and slows down… until it dies cruelly before the hog line. The shame is real.
It’s like forgetting your lines in the middle of a play. You just stand there, broom in hand, pretending that hogged rock was “part of the strategy.” Sorry, but no one’s buying it. Hogging a stone is the jump scare that keeps giving.
5. The Burned Rock
Nothing will chill your spine like grazing a moving stone with your broom or accidentally brushing it with your foot. Suddenly, you’re faced with the awkward decision: admit it and take the consequences, or pretend you were miles away when it happened. (Don’t lie—you’ve thought about it.)
The burned rock is curling’s version of being caught with your hand in the cookie jar. Terrifying every single time.
6. Last Rock Pressure
It’s the final stone. The game is on the line. You’ve got hammer, you’ve got a shot… and you’ve also got the creeping dread of knowing the outcome rests entirely in your hands. Will you rise to glory, or will your skip glare at you for the rest of the season?
Last rock pressure is scarier than any horror flick, because there’s no pause button, no do-over, and no popcorn to comfort you. Just you, the ice, and that one shot that will haunt your dreams.
7. When the Ice Changes Mid-Game
One end it’s curling five feet, the next it’s straighter than your Uncle Larry’s bowling ball. This is the stuff of curling nightmares. You throw the same weight, same line, and yet the rock laughs at you as it slides to a completely new reality.
Ice that won’t behave is scarier than a Ouija board. At least with ghosts you can say goodbye.
8. The Skip’s Death Stare
Finally, the most horrifying moment of them all: missing a shot and then looking up to see your skip’s expression. That slow shake of the head. That quiet sigh. That broom tap of disappointment. You’d rather face a haunted corn maze than your skip’s judgmental eyebrow raise.
Curling Horror Is Just Another Kind of Fun
The truth is, these “scary” moments are part of what makes curling fun. You laugh, you groan, you maybe nurse a bruise, but you keep coming back—because the horror stories are the ones we love to retell.
If you’re looking for more curling fun (minus the scary stuff), check out some of our other posts:
And remember—when it comes to curling, the scariest thing isn’t ghosts or goblins. It’s that draw you’ll be thinking about at 3 a.m.