Best Ugly Sweaters (That Should Actually Be Curling Shirts)
Deck the Hacks with Brooms of Glory
The holidays are the most wonderful time of the year — especially if your curling club celebrates with a “sweeper swap” gift exchange, a bonspiel in Santa hats, or a questionable amount of eggnog between ends. But let’s be honest: when it comes to ugly sweaters, curlers have been getting left out of the fun.
Sure, you can wear a reindeer sweater to league night — but imagine if those same gloriously tacky designs were reimagined as funny curling shirts you could actually wear on the ice (without overheating halfway through the second end).
So grab your broom, fill your thermos with cocoa (or something stronger), and get ready for our list of ugly sweater ideas that should absolutely be curling shirts.
1. The Twelve Stones of Christmas
We already took on The 12 Days of Curlmas in our festive parody post, but this sweater-to-shirt idea deserves its own end. Picture a shirt covered in twelve curling stones, each one decked out for the holidays: one with antlers, one wrapped in Christmas lights, one stuck in a fruitcake.
Instead of “five golden rings,” we’ve got five perfect draws. This is the curling humor goldmine we deserve. Bonus points if the back of the shirt reads: “Hurry Hard and Be of Good Cheer.”
2. Santa’s Skip
Picture this: Santa in the house, yelling “SWEEP!” at two reindeer with brooms instead of antlers. The reindeer are clearly trying their best, but the hog line looms. This shirt writes itself.
Why it works: Curling already has the same joyful chaos as Christmas morning — equal parts excitement, confusion, and yelling about rocks that are “just biting.”
We’ve already covered why curlers make the best dinner guests (read here), and you know Santa’s table manners would be a hit at any curling club potluck. Let’s get this design made before North Pole Curling Club beats us to it.
3. The Bonspiel Before Christmas
In the spirit of holiday mashups, imagine an ugly sweater inspired by The Nightmare Before Christmas, but make it The Bonspiel Before Christmas. Jack Skellington’s curling stone has spiderweb grips, Zero the ghost dog is sweeping with a tiny broom, and the background is half Christmas, half curling rink.
Perfect for the curler who never stops thinking about the sport — even while wrapping gifts or hanging mistletoe on their broom handle.
If you’re the type who lives for the bonspiel life, you’ll also love our post on curling events worth traveling for.
4. Hog Line Holiday Lights
You know that one house in your neighborhood that goes way too hard with the Christmas lights? Imagine that… but on your torso.
Now swap out the reindeer silhouettes for curling rocks, the candy canes for brooms, and the giant inflatable Santa for a skip yelling “SWEEEEEPP!” in neon. It’s the kind of glorious chaos that says, “Yes, I take my curling seriously, but I also believe in seasonal LED extravagance.”
Pair this design with one of our funny curling shirts from our Threadless shop and you’ll be the best-dressed curler on the ice — no sweater required.
5. Grandma Got Run Over by a Roaring Stone
We love Grandma. But if she’s standing on the sheet without grippers, she’s fair game. This one’s for all the curlers who’ve seen a rock pick up just enough speed to cause holiday mayhem.
The shirt could feature a cartoon stone with a Santa hat and the text:
“Grandma Got Run Over by a Roaring Stone — Should’ve Worn Grippers.”
It’s morbid. It’s festive. It’s curling culture at its finest.
6. Frosty the Skipman
Frosty was a jolly, happy soul — right up until someone burned his rock.
A shirt showing Frosty with a broom in one mitten and a beer in the other could be the next holiday curling classic. The tagline?
“There must have been some magic in that delivery broom he found.”
Because you know the best skips always find a little extra “magic” (aka sweeping power) when it matters most.
7. Rockin’ Around the Curling Tree
Forget the Christmas tree. We want a curling tree — built from stones stacked in a pyramid, topped with a golden broom star.
Every branch (okay, layer) could be decorated with curling team gifts, like broom bags, sliders, and funny curling shirts. Add blinking lights and a mistletoe hanging from the hack, and you’ve got a festive masterpiece perfect for bonspiel season.
For inspiration on team gear, check out our guide to curling team gifts that actually rock.
8. Skip Happens – Holiday Edition
The classic phrase, now with more tinsel. “Skip Happens” already graces some of the best curling merch around, but imagine it in ugly sweater form: snowflakes, candy canes, and a skip dramatically facepalming under mistletoe.
It’s the kind of shirt that says, “Yes, I missed the line call, but at least I look festive doing it.”
9. Silent Ice, Holy Ice
A minimal design — snow gently falling over perfect pebbled ice, with two curlers in silhouette. Underneath:
“Silent Ice, Holy Ice, All Stones Glide in Line So Nice.”
It’s the shirt for curlers who love the peace and beauty of the sport — but still want to show their Christmas spirit.
If that speaks to you, you might also enjoy our post on why curling is the perfect sport for glass-half-full people.
10. Sweeping Through the Snow
A holiday pun classic — except this time, we mean it literally. Imagine three curlers sweeping like mad through a blizzard while a stone cruises past snowmen and holiday lights.
Perfect for anyone who’s ever played in a cold arena where the temperature dips just enough that your broom squeaks on the frost.
The Final End: Ugly Sweaters, Beautiful Shirts
Curling is already the most joyful, ridiculous, and community-driven sport out there — why not celebrate it with holiday curling shirts that bring out that spirit?
Sure, ugly sweaters have their place at office parties and awkward family dinners. But when you’re sliding out of the hack, calling line, or sweeping for dear life, you need something more breathable… and way funnier.
So this season, ditch the itchy wool and head to CurlingIsFun.com for the best funny curling shirts and holiday merch that’ll keep your team laughing all the way to the house.