Curling’s Greatest Excuses: Why That Shot Wasn’t My Fault
Curlers are masters of strategy, precision, and—let’s be honest—excuses. When a stone sails past the house like it had a dinner reservation elsewhere, it’s never your fault. There’s always something (or someone) to blame. Let’s take a look at some of curling’s greatest excuses and see why curlers are really just innocent victims of physics, ice gremlins, and skip sabotage.
1. “The Ice Was Different Over There”
Every sheet has its quirks. One side is faster, the other is curlier, and sometimes you swear the rock just decided to moonwalk. If your stone didn’t stop where you wanted, clearly it’s because you were in the one patch of ice that hasn’t been pebbled since the Nixon administration.
And if you’ve ever played a Halloween bonspiel, you know it’s basically haunted ice. (Need proof? Check out our recent post on Curloween costumes).
2. “My Broom Head Is Worn Out”
Equipment matters, folks. How can you expect precision sweeping when your broom looks like it’s been through three world wars and a bonspiel buffet? If only you’d upgraded to some fresh curling merch, your shot would have been perfect. (Subtle plug: we’ve got you covered with funny curling shirts so at least you look like you know what you’re doing.)
3. “The Skip Called the Wrong Line”
Ah yes, the classic blame-the-skip move. The rock was thrown with textbook perfection—obviously—but then the skip waved their broom around like an air traffic controller who missed a memo. Boom, disaster. Not your fault at all.
Skip drama has been a theme before—remember when we dug into the chaos in Scary Moments in Curling? Exactly.
4. “The Sweeper Touched It”
Few words chill a curler’s heart like “burned rock.” Sometimes a sweeper’s broom barely grazes the handle, sometimes it’s an accidental full-body tackle. Either way, your shot was clearly destined to be perfect before the sweeping sabotage.
5. “The Stone Must Be Cupped”
Every curler has that one rock they swear is cursed. It always runs heavy, or it always curls way too much. If you accidentally grabbed that stone? Forget it—your shot was doomed before you even got into the hack.
This one pairs well with blaming physics, as we explored in When Curling Goes Bananas. Science is fun… until it ruins your draw to the button.
6. “I Was Distracted”
Hey, curling is social. There’s chatter in the warm room, heckling from the other sheet, and maybe someone brought snacks you can smell from the hack. If your concentration broke, that’s not your fault—it’s just proof curling is more of a party than a sport sometimes.
7. “It Was a Setup Shot Anyway”
The ultimate escape hatch: pretend it was all part of the plan. Your wide-open miss was obviously a clever way to guard the next shot or open up the house. Strategy, baby. Don’t question it.
Wrap-Up: Excuses Make the Game Fun
At the end of the day, excuses are just part of curling culture. They’re as common as hog line violations and “good curling” handshakes. The truth is, we all mess up shots—but blaming the ice, the broom, or your skip makes the game a whole lot funnier.
So the next time your stone goes rogue, remember: it’s never you—it’s curling itself conspiring against your greatness. And hey, at least you can still look sharp doing it in curling team merch.
Want more curling humor? Check out:
- Curloween: The Best Curling Costumes We’ve Seen
- The Scariest Thing in Curling: Slippery Hacks and Missed Draws
- When Curling Goes Bananas
Because excuses may win laughs—but curling merch wins style points.